tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14004571322945583042024-03-05T13:52:07.405-08:00Fraser Trevor Author & Social Psychologist MScFounder of Dissociation Anonymous,The Ten Stages program , The Child Within compassionate solutions.,
The first and only Healthy RecoveryFraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-7134782164102785542018-03-07T11:11:00.002-08:002018-12-23T23:51:23.712-08:00Middlesbrough/Redcar DayHab model of dissociation therapy an oasis of calm amongst the chaos of addiction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Middlesbrough DayHab model of dissociation therapy has revolutionised the practice of addiction treatment. Our success is based on research, experience and dedication. The DayHab approach to dissociation recovery is a cutting edge addiction recovery treatment.<br /><br />Everyone who accesses DayHab services are treated with truth, trust and respect, consideration and empathy. Our services are provided within an environment that is safe and supportive, allowing the process of dissociation treatment and healing to begin.<br /><br />Two decades of advancements in neuroscience convinced us that addiction should be redefined by what is happening inside the mind, brain and subconscious. For instance, research has shown that addiction affects the brains reward circuitry, such that memories of previous experiences with childhood trauma, alcohol, food, sex, gambling and other drugs trigger cravings and more dissociative behaviour. Brain circuitry that governs impulse control and judgment is also altered resulting in the nonsensical pursuit of dissociations.<br /><br />Middlesbrough DayHab's self-therapy model is based on widely recognised evidence proving dissociation behaviour lies at the roots of the addictive process. We approach dissociation therapy in a holistic way, working with mind, body and spirit as components of a healthy recovery life.<br /></span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-7109071315568605152018-01-24T11:13:00.002-08:002018-01-24T11:14:15.875-08:00What if it were true that nothing was wrong with you? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">What if it were true that nothing was wrong with you? What if you are actually perfect? And the only thing that prevents you from feeling this way most of the time is the story you tell yourself about why you're not.<br /><br />You could have got this story from all kinds of places. <br /><br />From your parents, from events that happened, from culture or society - there's all kinds of places where this story could have come from.<br /><br />But, what if your core is already perfect? What would that feel like? What would that make you think and believe about life and what's possible?<br /><br /><br />When I say perfect, I don't mean the achiever's definition of perfect... with the house, the cars, the money, the body, etc., etc., etc. I'm not talking about outward "perfection". I'm talking about intrinsic inward perfection our perfect child within.<br /><br />What if you were and are a child of The Divine and at your core, you are Spirit and there is nothing wrong with you? But instead, what you think is "wrong" with you are just brilliant ways for you to have got your needs met. Your need for Love, to feel valuable, to feel worthy, to feel significant, to feel variety and connection. And that you have been doing the best you can from your point of view to get these needs met?<br /><br />And what if there were healthier ways to get your needs met?<br /><br /><br />What ancestral story have you been telling yourself about what's wrong with you?<br /><br />You're too - what?<br /><br />Or... you're not enough - what?<br /><br /><br />Are those ancestral stories actually true? Or could there be another way? Could there be a more empowering story that you could tell yourself about who you are? Instead of feeling like a failure or feeling wrong or feeling like you aren't enough - what if you changed the story to...<br /><br /><br />You did the absolute best that you could given your life circumstances. And that you know that you are MORE than your circumstances and so you can rise above them by making a new choice. That your circumstances are not your identity - your identity is your child within - an Infinite perfection with Infinite potential connected to an Infinite Creator and that as you learn new skills, make new distinctions and become even MORE aware of The Child perfection within you - you can create new habits not based on old coping strategies and create a new identity with your child that has been hidden within.<br /><br />If that were true - what would be possible for you? What in your life could change?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Just about everything.</span></div>
Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-84561642510197834402018-01-24T03:23:00.002-08:002018-03-07T10:50:00.432-08:00Our new DAYHAB is an empowerment process a wholistic approach to overcoming addictions <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Our new one-stop DAYHAB is an</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"> empowerment process a wholistic approach to overcoming addictions and dissociations brought on by the addictive process that views people in their wholeness– mind, body and history. A fundamental basis of this model is flexibility and an openness breaking the blame and shame cycle of traditional recovery models which leads to continually ask: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">What works? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Who does it work for? and How can we help it work better?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"> It encourages us working in the field to be continually open to new information and not to become trapped in dogmatic teachings. At its core, DAYHAB is based on love not fear; internal control not external authoritarianism; affirmation not deflation; and trust in the ability of people to find their own healing path when given education, support, hope and choices.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />DAYHAB through truth trust and consent helps people to develop ego strength which is seen as having a healthy ability to be introspective and to ask oneself the questions:What has happened to me? Who am I? What do I value, believe and want?<br /><br />DAYHAB sees, addiction is as a complex web of social factors, physical, pre-disposition and personal history. This empowerment model encourages individuals to develop their own internal belief system based on their perceptions and experiences. It is fluid and open to change as the person evolves. It believes that a major task of healing from addiction is to validate the underlying, positive survival goals for safety, connection, pleasure, love and power. Then to find non-addictive and positive ways to meet those needs. It is also crucial to create a healthy non-judgemental balance to prevent relapse.</span></div>
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Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-47208038159679874302018-01-20T22:52:00.001-08:002018-01-20T22:57:05.729-08:00One choice makes all the difference in our lives.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">One choice makes all the difference in our lives. This choice begins with awareness of what is going on around us, what is going on inside us, and what matters most.</span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-36049652456580568652017-12-21T17:56:00.001-08:002017-12-21T18:00:24.109-08:00A deadly flu has made its way to the UK from Australia - Wales Online<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/health/deadly-flu-made-way-uk-14070519">A deadly flu has made its way to the UK from Australia - Wales Online</a>: "It has already been responsible for around 300 deaths"<br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a><br />
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:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-4705076855014737872017-10-19T17:22:00.001-07:002017-10-19T17:23:44.850-07:00Experts disagree whether sex addiction is real - Business Insider<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://uk.businessinsider.com/experts-disagree-whether-sex-addiction-is-real-2017-10">Experts disagree whether sex addiction is real - Business Insider</a>: <br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-57782567151325220442017-10-19T12:00:00.001-07:002017-10-19T12:02:02.248-07:00Is it Really ADHD or is it Trauma? | Psych Central Professional<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://pro.psychcentral.com/is-it-really-adhd-or-is-it-trauma/0020678.html?utm_source=Psych+Central+Professional&utm_campaign=5c0ffff4f3-PRO_B_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_7ef5d0b4f0-5c0ffff4f3-30159529">Is it Really ADHD or is it Trauma? | Psych Central Professional</a>: <br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-22318545464215087542017-09-12T02:29:00.001-07:002017-09-12T02:31:10.767-07:00The 10 Stage Practice of Loving-Kindfulness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://lifeinthebreathlane.blogspot.co.uk/2017/09/the-10-stage-practice-of-loving.html">The 10 Stage Practice of Loving-Kindfulness</a>: <br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-44589490454730006212017-09-08T00:10:00.000-07:002017-09-08T00:10:12.833-07:00Perhaps the Egyptians chose the beetle as a god of creation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Perhaps the Egyptians chose the beetle as a god of creation, and not some more noble creature, because that lowly image hints at the possibility that transformation begins at the bottom level and attains the highest.<br />— Normandi Ellis in Dreams of Isis</span></blockquote>
Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-28220198718340311272017-09-07T23:58:00.001-07:002017-09-07T23:58:47.992-07:00Human-Heartedness.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfZYtIWXRlSAWp4ssSKc_F4hNAQTaPy1Dr5teMwWYdSWb8DW7wyLDmlZ8Abvr0ohlXaE4Om6HIMZ-f3IXZ-JwMql0MY8Pi3dmF4xI1LCqc2QwzSZSU0WFxr8DREQBnB8V0AOL-uZl8jsn6/s1600/fraserjr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfZYtIWXRlSAWp4ssSKc_F4hNAQTaPy1Dr5teMwWYdSWb8DW7wyLDmlZ8Abvr0ohlXaE4Om6HIMZ-f3IXZ-JwMql0MY8Pi3dmF4xI1LCqc2QwzSZSU0WFxr8DREQBnB8V0AOL-uZl8jsn6/s320/fraserjr.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">After numerous heart stoppages.The major challenges of my life as an elder is to take the time and energy to do all I can to keep my heart healthy and flourishing. <br />This, of course, means doing some daily "outer work" – eating a healthy diet, drinking plenty of water, doing aerobic exercise, body stretching, and mind-training.<br /><br />It is equally important that I do my "inner work" to nurture that other heart within me – the seat of wisdom and understanding, the locus of meaning, compassion, kindness, wonder, reverence, and peace. You get my gist: my wisdom heart supports the 37 spiritual practices we identify in the Alphabet of Spiritual Literacy.<br /><br />Confucius called these life skills "human-heartedness." What a capacious term for embracing everything in life's pageant from greetings to table manners, respect for strangers, worship services, and leave taking. These skills of the heart can be manifested in service of the Child Within, family, community, art, or our spiritual teacher. They all reveal the same appreciation, loyalty, sensitivity, and commitment.<br /><br />Heart work brings out the best in us and enables us to dance for joy in gratitude for the Ten Thousand things which enhance, deepen, and enrich our lives. <br />Doing outer and inner work enables us to celebrate the heart as a double duty dynamo that serves as a catalyst to our spiritual transformation. </span><br />
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Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-32184555434992918192017-09-07T11:08:00.001-07:002017-10-19T12:09:17.352-07:00It was only after bouts of prolonged life threatening illnesses that I finally came to understand how important it is to affirm the child withins destiny.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">It was only after bouts of prolonged life threatening illnesses that I finally came to understand how important it is to affirm the child withins destiny. In this way we forge a child that does not break down when incomprehensible things happen; a child within that endures, that endures the truth, and that is capable of coping with the world and with fate. . . . Nothing is disturbed – neither inwardly nor outwardly, for the child withins own continuity has withstood the current of life and of time.The program is cemented into place and not found wanting.</span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-29811727692520688792017-09-05T01:16:00.001-07:002017-09-05T20:01:06.761-07:00PART 1 of The 7 Second Reality what is a 7 Second Reality experience<br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">7 Second Reality what is a 7 Second Reality experience well thats what I have become by a number of accidents lasting within seventeen hours of continues monitoring. <br />The 7 Second Reality<br />When your heart stops, there’s 7 seconds in which you are in an other reality state. You’re unconsciously conscious. However, while there, we lose all perception of time. A day could be a minute, a second could be a year. So what if you’ve been dead for 3 seconds and all of your life up until now has been a dream?<br /><br />Tired one afternoon in August I had retired for a late afternoon nap when the phone rang just as I settled down.The voice at the other end sounded cut of..is that you as my name was spelt out I affirmed that it was, do you have a close family member with you, no I had not...slowly awakening... well we want you in. The mind snapped into action or should have....we have the results of your tests. When do we want you in.Now came the reply do you want an ambulance...No I will get a taxi I replied.<br /><br /><br /> I had become at that moment a seven second experience even though I had no comprehension what that meant. The taxi arrived very quickly and we moved into the late afternoon traffic. On arrival at the heart ward carrying my bags, a senior nurse looked quite perturbed, being used to seeing para-medics, chairs, drips etc. 7 seconds never walked in. I mentioned the name of the senior consultant and was whisked off to a ward and connected up to a host of wires. I was now under intense observation with a permanent wi-fi connection to those upstairs who constantly monitored me and changed my batteries. Somehow I struggled to comprehend my new position feeling benignly like a figure in a George Orwellian nightmare.</span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-5321546716265414112017-09-04T15:03:00.003-07:002017-09-04T15:05:13.716-07:00Scientists finally discover how stress causes heart attacks and strokes <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/01/11/scientists-finally-discover-stress-causes-heart-attacks-strokes/">Scientists finally discover how stress causes heart attacks and strokes </a>: <br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a><br />
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DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-90269943440486162722017-02-23T21:32:00.001-08:002017-04-22T20:29:53.903-07:00Meditation done correctly can help tremendously in freeing yourself from the fight-or-flight response<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The practice that is essential when dealing with the fight-or-flight mechanism of the mind is, first of all, to notice when it is happening and take immediate action to counter it.<br /><br />1. Notice when the fight-or-flight response is happening. The symptoms that it has triggered are fear, anger, anxiety, resentment, defeatism, victimhood, and rampant negative thinking.<br /><br />2. Once you have noticed the fight-or-flight response is taking place, stop and take several conscious deep breaths. You are beginning to go against the tide of the fight-or-flight response, so you may experience some inner resistance to doing even this first step. Nonetheless, take the time to take a few conscious breaths. This will begin to biologically counter the fight-or-flight response in the brain. It will help the brain to reset its response to physical and emotional challenge.<br /><br />3. Notice the negative thoughts that the mind is generating. Also notice that it is the negative thoughts that are generating the emotional turmoil. Pain and exhaustion are direct experiences, while emotional turmoil is a secondary reaction. It’s an add-on that has the power to elicit many reactive emotions. So take the time to notice that this secondary reaction is being generated by negative thinking.<br /><br />4. Acknowledge that, while the pain or illness may be unavoidable, the resistance to it is optional and happens in your mind. Ask yourself, “Is it absolutely necessary for me to resist what is happening right now? What would it feel like to let go of these resisting thoughts?”<br /><br />5. Take the time to let your body feel the shift from negative thinking to a more neutral mindset. Negative thoughts may still try to intrude into the moment, but just ask yourself once again, “What would it feel like to let go of these resisting thoughts right now?” Don’t resist the resisting thoughts, however; that will only keep you bound by them. Be patient and don’t try to rush it. Being patient counters the fight-or-flight response as well.<br /><br />6. Be sure to let your mind and your body feel the space between and underneath the negative thoughts, which this practice makes available. We cannot emphasise the importance of this enough. This practice makes available the experience of neutral space in the mind and the body. When applied constantly over time, it resets the emotional triggering caused by the mind to a more peaceful and free state.<br /><br />7. Illness and pain can also generate future thinking like “Will this ever end,” or “What will my life look like in the future?” Or, even more painful, “What did I do to deserve this, and why is God doing this to me?” These are also thoughts that are resisting experiencing this moment. They are generated by fear and resistance and in turn create more fear and resistance. You may also feel some fear in letting them go, as if somehow they were going to protect you in the future. You are not being punished; life is just like this sometimes.<br /><br />8. Repeat the above exercise as often as needed, probably many times every day. It can take time, though it doesn’t necessarily have to, to reset the mind’s fight-or-flight responses. The more consistent you are, the faster these old conditioned responses can be turned around. But it does take consistent practice.<br /><br />9. Also, take some time to meditate every day. You can work with the thoughts that come up in meditation in exactly the same way that I have outlined here. Meditation done correctly can help tremendously in freeing yourself from the fight-or-flight response, as long as you don’t restrict the practice only to times of meditation. And remember, this practice is not only for your mind, it is also for your body. So take the time to let both the mind and the body experience those gaps of neutrality and peace that this practice makes available to you. It can be life changing.</span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-72689729858178766712017-02-20T23:03:00.000-08:002017-02-23T21:50:59.611-08:00The Program is the understanding of what our consciousness is<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Dissociation Program is simply the direct recognition and understanding of how things actually are. It is the realisation of our true nature of reality.<br /><br />There are many concepts that point toward this understanding: terms such as "awakening", "non-duality", "prior to understanding", "consciousness-without-an-object", "pure being", and so forth. All these concepts are sound. But they are pointers, not the realisation itself. The realisation itself is a knowing of a different order beyond conceptual categorisation. It is radical, revolutionary, and always now. It turns everything upside down, and is a full stop in the groping of a confused mind.<br /><br />The Program is the understanding of what our consciousness is, and of the essential non-existence of the wilful self, the person consumed by fears, attachments, and cravings, who thinks that they can control things and believes they have free will; even the person who thinks they want (or need) to become enlightened in some way.<br /><br />The Program is not non-dual, as that is yet another category applied by the mind. Nor is it dual. It is neither, beyond both, and nothing. It cannot be seized and catalogued. That does not mean that awakening cannot be approached via thought. It certainly can, and it can be described and understood </span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">intellectually. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The mind, clarified and sharpened, is an important tool for undoing the delusions of the personal self. But the mind only takes us to "99 degrees celsius" point. It does not take us beyond the boiling point of awakening. It ushers us to the door, along with its essential companion known as "emotional passion".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />The Programs consciousness sees and understands the intrinsic and seamless perfection of each moment. It sees and understands that the personal self does not, and has never, had any substantial existence, beyond being a mental construct: a collection of memories and identifications, a presumed "centre of gravity" inside that does not exist in any absolute sense.<br /><br />The Program its-self cannot be realised if we are run by desires generated by the phantom of the personal shadow self. The personal self seeks many things, the endless Holy Grails of the world. Awakening will simply be yet another of its desires if it sees something desirable in the process of becoming awakened. Our personalised shadow self thinks that perhaps this "awakening" will relieve us of certain things, and certain responsibilities. The personal self usually has a wrong motivation to seek an awakening, and in time this wrong motivation is revealed, resulting in a decline of interest in our program. This decline in interest most often takes the form of becoming distracted by other matters. These distractions are in fact the personal shadow self seeking to escape the business of recovery, and reacquiring its old hold and habits of dysfunction and coping strategies.<br /><br />For the personally constructed self, the program is ultimately terrifying, because it is a call to abandon ship entirely. It is the death of all cherished illusions. As such, it is not possible for us to embark on this path unless we are truly tired of our illusions and dissociations, and of the utterly repetitive nature of child hidden withins suffering.<br /><br />The Program is liberation from illusion, freedom from ignorance. But in almost all cases our personal awakening is not a one-shot affair. Its realisation is radical and immanent, but rarely complete and total. The personal shadow self does not give up its cherished illusions so quickly or easily. It usually puts up a long sustained fight.<br /><br />Because of this, it is useless and pointless to turn the shadow self into some sort of enemy. This will just be the spiritualised ego fighting with the shadow self. It will be illusion at war with illusion. Many fellowship seekers fall into this trap. To do this is not to become liberated, but rather to become inwardly divided, to ultimately become little more than a moralist, an insufferable priest of the church of a Phoney fellowship.<br /><br />A more reliable approach is to bring awareness into our personal shadow self. Instead of making it an enemy, or running from it in fear and judgement, we must become deeply familiar with it. This inevitably involves the need to be exploratory with life to some extent. We are better off exercising some of our desires in order to become fully familiar with them, rather than controlling and repressing them in the name of a sought for recovery that is really litle more of a frightened escape from our human condition.<br /><br />To be exploratory is not license to indulge. We avoid the extremes of repression and indulgence. In so doing, we seek to realise truth on both absolute and conventional levels. We seek to realise truth in silent meditation and contemplation, and in the noisy market place or when quarrelling with our lover. We seek to realise truth in focused and inquiring thought, and in the expanding awareness of silent observation of that which observes. We seek to realise truth in sensual contact and in ordinary activities, by being fully present in all acts.<br /><br />We have no hope of walking the path to recovery without a deep and sustaining passion for truth. At first, and possibly for a long time, this will seem like "my passion for truth". Eventually we will recognise—always now—that this is truth discovering itself, and that the personal shadow self, with its agendas and prized dreams, is gradually consumed by the fire of this passion.<br /><br />The Program is not about renouncing the world. It is not about renouncing anything. It is rather an opening to what is, and a realisation of the perfection of what is.<br /><br />This is accomplished by realising the nature of illusion as it is generated by the personal self...me, my desires and my fears. That, combined with a passionate and abiding interest in ultimate truth, are the twin tools for recognising the true nature of reality. However ..and this is a crucial point .. to recognise the illusions of the personal shadow self does not mean that we leap over the personal self, in some misguided attempt to bypass it rapidly, to dismiss it as illusion, when in fact we are still in its grips. If we attempt this we will likely fail. Instead, what is required is a full investigation of the personal self, a mature willingness to be responsible for its manifestations, and to take full ownership of it. We cannot drop a ball unless we are holding it in our hand. We cannot drop the delusions of the personal shadow self until we have seen and understood the full extent of our identification with it. This requires a profound level of honesty, and a consistent willingness to face our child hidden within in every moment.</span></div>
Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-34149060341163308592017-01-28T07:13:00.002-08:002017-01-28T07:13:11.401-08:00 Our freed up energy allows us the deepest connection to the best of ourselves which enhances our child withins power.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Self-reflection is any conscious, non-dissociative form of mindfulness, meditation, or seeking. Its the mindful manner after our letting go meditation we connect<br />and listen to our perfect child within for compassionate guidance. This practice keeps us firmly rooted on our recovery path and opens the way to the truth that the genius in our child within has been waiting a life- time to manifest. Having grieved our history we recognise that our child is no longer held captive by ancient shackles of dissociation. We are no longer blocked by an impenetrable wall of silent abuse, defences of the dissociated playground, and self-hating voices of our ancestral past. Our freed up energy allows us the deepest connection to the best of ourselves which enhances our child withins power. However, we have learned not abuse our power to dominate others or to exploit the material world. If we do, we are only deluding ourselves. Our sole desire for aligning with truth and its power is to guide us to our child withins calling.</span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-25798716126714286512017-01-09T04:41:00.001-08:002017-02-20T22:23:44.450-08:00what is the constructed or shadow self?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">what is the constructed or shadow self? Basically, it is the sense of separate identity — “me”, “mine”, etc. The constructed self or shadow self is basic to individual development and is not inherently bad in itself. In fact, it is necessary for both survival, and individuation (recognising who we are in distinction to others). Something can be initially known only in contrast to something that it is not. For example, a white dot with no border around it placed on an equally white background will not be visible — for all intents and purposes, it does not exist. But a white dot on a black background immediately leaps into appearance. In the psychological realm, the ego is what provides this basic contrast. “I am me, and you are you, therefore I exist.” </span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-48548042797096044532017-01-09T04:30:00.000-08:002017-01-09T04:30:08.000-08:00The natural development from shadow self to integrated child within is a process of transcending and including.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">The natural development from shadow self to integrated child within is a process of transcending and including. That is, the mind and sense of individuality, along with the capacity for responsibility, are not abandoned, they are rather included on the journey, even as we deepen our sense of who we really are, and orient ourselves toward greater wisdom and compassion and skilful ability to help others.</span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-3861650601548970092017-01-09T03:55:00.000-08:002017-01-09T04:05:24.360-08:00As our child attempts growing up we have had to learn how to separate from our parents (in particular, our mother, as we were originally joined with her body)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />As our child attempts growing up we have had to learn how to separate from our parents (in particular, our mother, as we were originally joined with her body). This is sometimes called the process of “The Child Within”. The development of our ego was basic to this process, and thus it is important that as a young person develops a “healthy ego”, which means, good boundaries, solid sense of self, good self-esteem, and so on.<br /><br />Problems with ego-development are, however, common, and often make it difficult for someone to embark on a self kindfulness path, because we cannot begin to go “beyond” the ego if we have not first developed it in a healthy fashion. This is why many who begin to work on themselves in order to heal and try to integrate old wounds, forgive parents or siblings, come to terms with their family history, their self-esteem, and so on.<br /><br />Failure to come to a reasonable degree of healing with our past (in particular, our family roots), and with our basic sense of personal identity, increases the likelihood of falling prey to the “sublimated child within”. That is, venturing into mindfulness practices and beginning to confuse altered states of consciousness that can arise from such practices with early-life memories of “oneness” (like being merged with what was around us), along with an abandoned sense of responsibility, precisely because we desire to relive our childhood in a way that we think will get us what we didn’t get back then.<br /><br />Meditational states of mind do indeed include a sense of “oneness”, but they do not abdicate our basic sense of identity. We do not lose the ability to recognise our own name, and thereby successfully answer the phone or reply to an email (for example). More to the point, we do not abandon responsibility, and all the areas of life in which that is important.<br /><br />Likewise, concerning the role of “rationality” our reality path, there is also much confusion. Child Within states of being (deep connection with others, or life, or the universe, deep peace/joy, etc.) appear non-rational, which can lead to the belief that all rational states are therefore non-meditational.<br /><br />From there, it is a short leap to assuming that all non-rational states are therefore meditation. This however ignores the fact that meditational states are different from rational states. That is, the “oneness” felt by a child is not the same as the “oneness” experienced by a mature, responsible adult. The former is more a state of “fusion”. The latter is a state of deep connectedness in which the ability to use the mind (or personal identity) is not lost.<br /><br /><br /><br />The main difference between ordinary rationality, and the rationality of meditation, is that in the latter there is less identification with thought. It’s not that the mind becomes non-functional or somehow disappears, it’s rather that we come to recognise, more and more, that we are not our thoughts, anymore than we are our body. But recognising that we are not the body does not mean that we abandon the body, mistreat it, or pretend that it is not real (or “not spiritual”). Likewise with the mind.</span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-43514905688185557742017-01-05T06:46:00.000-08:002017-04-22T20:28:11.665-07:00The Program is simply the direct recognition and understanding of how things actually are. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The Program is simply the direct recognition and understanding of how things actually are. It is the realisation of our true nature of reality.<br /><br />There are many concepts that point toward this understanding: terms such as "awakening", "non-duality", "prior to understanding", "consciousness-without-an-object", "pure being", and so forth. All these concepts are sound. But they are pointers, not the realisation itself. The realisation itself is a knowing of a different order beyond conceptual categorisation. It is radical, revolutionary, and always now. It turns everything upside down, and is a full stop in the groping of a confused mind.<br /><br />The Program is the understanding of what our consciousness is, and of the essential non-existence of the wilful self, the person consumed by fears, attachments, and cravings, who thinks that they can control things and believes they have free will; even the person who thinks they want (or need) to become enlightened in some way. <br /><br />The Program is not non-dual, as that is yet another category applied by the mind. Nor is it dual. It is neither, beyond both, and nothing. It cannot be seized and catalogued. That does not mean that awakening cannot be approached via thought. It certainly can, and it can be described and understood </span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">intellectually. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The mind, clarified and sharpened, is an important tool for undoing the delusions of the personal self. But the mind only takes us to "99 degrees celsius" point. It does not take us beyond the boiling point of awakening. It ushers us to the door, along with its essential companion known as "emotional passion".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />The Programs consciousness sees and understands the intrinsic and seamless perfection of each moment. It sees and understands that the personal self does not, and has never, had any substantial existence, beyond being a mental construct: a collection of memories and identifications, a presumed "centre of gravity" inside that does not exist in any absolute sense. <br /><br />The Program its-self cannot be realised if we are run by desires generated by the phantom of the personal shadow self. The personal self seeks many things, the endless Holy Grails of the world. Awakening will simply be yet another of its desires if it sees something desirable in the process of becoming awakened. Our personalised shadow self thinks that perhaps this "awakening" will relieve us of certain things, and certain responsibilities. The personal self usually has a wrong motivation to seek an awakening, and in time this wrong motivation is revealed, resulting in a decline of interest in our program. This decline in interest most often takes the form of becoming distracted by other matters. These distractions are in fact the personal shadow self seeking to escape the business of recovery, and reacquiring its old hold and habits of dysfunction and coping strategies.<br /><br />For the personally constructed self, the program is ultimately terrifying, because it is a call to abandon ship entirely. It is the death of all cherished illusions. As such, it is not possible for us to embark on this path unless we are truly tired of our illusions and dissociations, and of the utterly repetitive nature of child hidden withins suffering.<br /><br />The Program is liberation from illusion, freedom from ignorance. But in almost all cases our personal awakening is not a one-shot affair. Its realisation is radical and immanent, but rarely complete and total. The personal shadow self does not give up its cherished illusions so quickly or easily. It usually puts up a long sustained fight.<br /><br />Because of this, it is useless and pointless to turn the shadow self into some sort of enemy. This will just be the spiritualised ego fighting with the shadow self. It will be illusion at war with illusion. Many fellowship seekers fall into this trap. To do this is not to become liberated, but rather to become inwardly divided, to ultimately become little more than a moralist, an insufferable priest of the church of a Phoney fellowship. <br /><br />A more reliable approach is to bring awareness into our personal shadow self. Instead of making it an enemy, or running from it in fear and judgement, we must become deeply familiar with it. This inevitably involves the need to be exploratory with life to some extent. We are better off exercising some of our desires in order to become fully familiar with them, rather than controlling and repressing them in the name of a sought for recovery that is really litle more of a frightened escape from our human condition.<br /><br />To be exploratory is not license to indulge. We avoid the extremes of repression and indulgence. In so doing, we seek to realise truth on both absolute and conventional levels. We seek to realise truth in silent meditation and contemplation, and in the noisy market place or when quarrelling with our lover. We seek to realise truth in focused and inquiring thought, and in the expanding awareness of silent observation of that which observes. We seek to realise truth in sensual contact and in ordinary activities, by being fully present in all acts.<br /><br />We have no hope of walking the path to recovery without a deep and sustaining passion for truth. At first, and possibly for a long time, this will seem like "my passion for truth". Eventually we will recognise—always now—that this is truth discovering itself, and that the personal shadow self, with its agendas and prized dreams, is gradually consumed by the fire of this passion.<br /><br />The Program is not about renouncing the world. It is not about renouncing anything. It is rather an opening to what is, and a realisation of the perfection of what is.<br /><br />This is accomplished by realising the nature of illusion as it is generated by the personal self...me, my desires and my fears. That, combined with a passionate and abiding interest in ultimate truth, are the twin tools for recognising the true nature of reality. However ..and this is a crucial point .. to recognise the illusions of the personal shadow self does not mean that we leap over the personal self, in some misguided attempt to bypass it rapidly, to dismiss it as illusion, when in fact we are still in its grips. If we attempt this we will likely fail. Instead, what is required is a full investigation of the personal self, a mature willingness to be responsible for its manifestations, and to take full ownership of it. We cannot drop a ball unless we are holding it in our hand. We cannot drop the delusions of the personal shadow self until we have seen and understood the full extent of our identification with it. This requires a profound level of honesty, and a consistent willingness to face our child hidden within in every moment.</span><br />
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Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-23439712787947073912016-12-25T10:45:00.001-08:002016-12-31T08:08:28.681-08:00On coming to awaken to that truth that at our core is a perfect child within which when released is more powerful than the lies imposed upon us in our formative years<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The Admittance Stage that the dissociations we have used and are still using, as survival mechanisms have trapped us into our unconscious and now bubble up dictating controlling and ruling our lives today, making us powerless to embody our original truth, and driving us to act out in ways destructive to ourselves, to others, and to our environment. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />On coming to awaken to our truth that at our core is a perfect child within which when released is more powerful than the lies imposed upon us in our formative years, and that this truth can lead us to an awakening if it is earnestly gentle sort, as we begin to let go of our shadow past.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br />Make a heartfelt constant decision to align with this newly found version of our truth, despite the pressure to submit to the distortions of family, society, and the ancestral voices we carry within. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br /> Our newly found truth encourages us make a searching and fearless journey into our dissociated often dependent history the personal, the close familial, and ancestral. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br /> Self Reflecting and finally communicating with ourselves and to a ten stager, one who has completed the course the unexplored details of our traumas as we remember them understanding that our memories may take time to re-formulate and become understandable . <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br /> Grief like the emotional pain we have suffered and still are intently suffering allows us to become entirely ready to grieve this shadow past and to let go of our false shadow self and all its outmoded ancient survival strategies. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br />Aligning with our hidden perfect child within doing the deep and transforming work of grieving our emotional losses. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br />Studying the dissociated ways we had hurt ourselves, others, and our home environment through replication of our traumas, and we become willing to awaken to them all. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br />Tracing back our inappropriate dissociated behaviours roots awakening into healthy living of the perfect child hidden within, clearing out our mind of dysfunctional residue and practising deep loving-kindfulness to ourselves first.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br />Continuing to monitor our attitudes and behaviour, testing wether we are using a parental voice and when we make a dissociated act promptly admit it, trace its traumatic origin, and take action not to repeat it. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br /> Seeking through self reflection and in daily meditation an ever deepening connection to our deep seated truth, desiring only to be guided to our child withins calling. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br />Having awakened to our child within, we dedicate our lives to its full manifestation and to nurturing the healing paths of others children within.</span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-4866484517298663342016-11-12T05:47:00.001-08:002016-11-12T05:47:26.538-08:00People talk about escapism as if it's a bad thing...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">“People talk about escapism as if it's a bad thing... Once you've escaped, once you come back, the world is not the same as when you left it. You come back to it with skills, weapons, knowledge you didn't have before. Then you are better equipped to deal with your current reality.”<br /> </span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">― Neil Gaiman</span></blockquote>
Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-76915096207667835672016-11-12T05:05:00.003-08:002016-11-12T05:05:52.396-08:00The Child Within is in conflict<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">The Child Within is in conflict as a child we intuited our basic birthright of truth but godlike nurturing by society and past norms contradicted us. Our nurturers claimed to love us but often behaved differently. Our confusion as children is understandable: in needing to believe in the goodness of our upbringing we, in our dependency, had no choice but to doubt ourselves. They lied to us—and where they did we became corrupted. We became like they were. But now we are adults. We no longer live under their tyranny, however mild or extreme it was, or under the strangling social systems that support them. We have options. This is the privilege of adulthood, and the privilege of the insight that comes with it. We again intuit truth and discover that when we are honest we do not die, but instead feel affirmed. This leads us to believe that the truth at our core is more powerful than the lies imposed upon us by our upbringing. We sense that with patience and perseverance we re-program the awakening of truth into all the dark and unconscious recesses of our shadow self and into all the frozen sides of our personality. We sense that we can become fully conscious and awakened to our perfect child within. </span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-55242078565619009152016-07-24T08:47:00.001-07:002017-01-05T09:27:22.917-08:00Maggot in the Brain:Dissociation (being split-off from one’s deepest truth) | Dissociation: Maggot in the Brain<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://tenstagecourses.blogspot.com/2016/01/dissociation-being-split-off-from-ones.html">Maggot in the Brain:Dissociation (being split-off from one’s deepest truth)<br />
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Dissociation: Maggot in the Brain</a><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“People talk about escapism as if it's a bad thing... Once you've escaped, once you come back, the world is not the same as when you left it. You come back to it with skills, weapons, knowledge you didn't have before. Then you are better equipped to deal with your current reality.”<br />
― Neil Gaiman</blockquote>
Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1400457132294558304.post-77218945132787810292016-06-17T11:35:00.001-07:002017-02-21T20:10:50.578-08:00We Study and Learn at the ten stages and then know 100%, there’s a 100% cure <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">We Study and Learn at the ten stages and then know 100%, there’s a 100% cure – the conviction you carry on your part is half the battle – don’t do it, if you don’t believe it, but work at it, learn it all, so that you do .<br />never ever, ever, ever give up – watching human beings blossom beats anything else on offer in this unfathomable world – so stick with it – we are all born with the right to recovery and mental health – never doubt it.</span>Fraser Trevorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05193683886687794177noreply@blogger.com0